Thursday, August 28, 2008

commissioners note:

I just logged on to our Fantasy Football homepage for the first time this season and read this...Shane is the Commissioner...YIKES:)

"Since we have a few new faces, I wanted to take a chance to introduce everyone to everybody:

Nathan Sharp: This 6’5” hunk with a goatee is in his sixth season in the Laces Out League and is the only team to never have changed its name. We all hope he doesn’t have the same policy with his underwear. This playful Aquarius likes foot rubs, scented candles, watching Anne of Greene Gables and listening to Hannah Montana.

Eric Sharp: Eric’s middle name is George, which has absolutely nothing to do with fantasy football. He is a linguistics expert, speaking 73 computer languages as well as Kling-On. He has bionic ankles, likes poetry and a someday hopes to visit Uranus. His favorite songs are: Lenny Kravitz – It’s Not Over Till it’s Over, Suzanne Vega – Tom’s Diner, and any Hillary Duff song. He is also getting his MBA at BYU with an emphasis in not-liking-school.

Caiti Sharp: Caiti holds a special record in the Laces Out league – most consecutive seasons coming in 2nd place, or as we like to call it – first loser. Four out of the leagues six seasons, Caiti has found herself on the losing side of the championship game. Maybe it’s just bad luck. Maybe it’s just blind luck she even made it to the championship. We may never know. She enjoys the dark, sleeping, and “happy” brownies she swears are made with oregano (yeah right).

Kyra Sharp: Kyra is excited to have finally graduated high school, finishing in the top 90 percent of her class. She has one fantasy football championship under her belt, proving the old adage; “even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while.” Kyra enjoys eating tuna from the can, raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings, talking to animals, and spitting. Someday she hopes to marry one, two or all three of the Jonas Brothers.

Tim Robinson: This tall dark and hansom dude from Big Sky country finished second last season. In fact, it may have been his first ever season with a winning record. He lives in Montana during the off-season and says he loves the freedom of the hills and the fact that he can pee outside and no one cares. He loves stray dogs, Clay Aiken music and a spirited game of bad mitten.

Val Robinson: This is Val’s rookie fantasy football season. She’s Tim’s newly acquired spousal unit and has already become know as his better half. She loves playing music and can play 17 different instruments including those gigantic horns on the Ricola commercials. She also enjoys not liking sports, Sudoku, and for Tim to take showers.

Kristin Sharp: Kristin may be only 4’8”, but her level of passion for the sport of fantasy football is off the charts. Roses bloom where she walks and the sun shines brighter when she’s around*. She’s also one of the most fashion savvy fantasy football managers in the world. This feisty Leo likes lima beans, zebra curtains and laughing at the expense of her incredibly cool husband who she wishes would turn into a vampire named Edward.
*no bias or gratuitous “point earning” intended

Travis Nilsson: Travis joins Val as a new addition to the Laces Out league; however, he’s no rookie to fantasy football. He’s a graduate of the University of Utah and has an MBA from Wake Forest where he won grand prize in a Sorbet contest with his “Ludicrous Lime” sorbet. This handsome Demon Deacon likes pina coladas, taking walks in the rain, and the taste of Pepto Bismol. He’s an expert cowbell player and loves hanging out in Ikea because one of his ancestors founded the store in Sweden in 1943.

Dayna Sharp: Dayna gets the Iron (Wo)Man award this year for spending yet another season managing a team while pregnant. She’s somewhat of a role model for Val because Dayna began her fantasy football career with absolutely no football knowledge and has progressed to the point where she took third place last year (that’s a bronze medal if you’re in Beijing). She enjoys alligator wrestling, calligraphy and knife fighting. She also won a Nobel Prize for her accomplishments in turning Nathan into a socially acceptable and half-way-normal human being.

Shane Sharp: Last but certainly not the least is the charming, good-looking commissioner of the Laces out League, me. As you all probably already know, I’m kind of a big deal. I have several championship rings and up until last year’s debacle, I was on track to be the league’s only dynasty. I enjoy eating dessert, not running, and playing the drums in Rock Band. I refuse to watch the Olympics because the air quality is too bad in China and I think clothing for pets should be outlawed. I recently quit my job and have a lot of free time (hence the length of this message). "


Michelle said...

Wow...Shane definitely has some time on his hands:) When I read the post the first time I didn't realize that Shane had written it until I got to his description. I was a little confused by "Kristin's" descriptions of everyone...especially Nate's hunk comment...glad to find out it was Shane! What can I's late and I obviously didn't pay attention to the beginning. Anyway...loved the post. Miss you guys:(

Natalie said...

Kristin, Happy belated (very) birthday to you and happy belated (not as)birthday to Shane. I just spent quite awhile updating myself on your life and feel like we are horrible friends. I think that it may be time for a Sunday evening chat on the phone to catch up further...We'll (me and Ryan) will sing you "happy (belated) birthday". you pick the language we sing it in. Choices are English or Spanish. (If you pick Spanish, Ryan sings it mostly by himself which would be dreadfully funny). Love and miss you guys!

P.s. tell Ry that if that girl is mean to her again that she should kick her.
Also, offer her our condolences on the loss of her beloved pet. So sad!
Kiss Tyler and Mr. Cannon. Hug Shane. We love you!

Natalie said...

I didn't mean to say "we'll (me and Ryan) will..." I meant to say "we (me and Ryan) will..." Or "We'll (Ryan and I) sing..." You get the idea.

Amy said...

Thanks for the laugh! I don't know most of the people, but I got a kick out of Shane's creative discriptions. Way too much time on his need to put him to work.

Eric said...

Shane was right on with the Kling-On :) although he was way off on the trip to Uranus, I prefer Saturn or Mercury.

While everyone's on the topic of belated birthdays. Happy Birthday Kristin, only a month late!